Why is handicapped parking sometimes so far away from the entrance?

Thank you for your kind thoughts and prayers on my post about my Mom. It makes traveling the journey easier knowing there are those who are walking the path with you, whether through your own personal experience or just knowing you are saying a prayer.

I had a phone call from one of those who picks up Mom to take her to church on Wednesday. Last week they played games - I think it was some form of dominoes. Several have told me two years ago, she could play, last week she was confused on what she she do while playing the game. Several of them helped her figure it out and get through the game.

A suggestion was made that Mom's handicapped sticker stay in her purse so wherever she goes, the driver can use it. What a great idea!!! Should have thought of it - makes it easier for all.

Now...what are places thinking when they put the handicapped parking so far away that it is inconvenient for the person needing the most convenience? What is with that?? Our local Colonel Sanders place makes it inconvenient. the Mexican restaurant next to Home Depot makes it inconvenient as it is halfway down the parking lot. Why make a person who has difficulty walking have to walk further than a person fully capable? Makes no sense to me.

What about doors so heavy that the elderly cannot manage opening them by themselves? Doorknobs that are difficult to use because of arthritis, which I am painfully becoming aware of personally because of my onset of arthritis. I can only imagine how it is for those who do not have the strength to manage it with either hand.

I am curious what obstacles you may see for those who are aging and make it difficult to be independent?

Crossing over

Here you see a picture of my Mom and me. It was taken at my daughter's home while we were celebrating my son in law's birthday.

Mom is 80 years old and lives with us. We have a little apartment for her that is connected to our home, but separate at the same time. We are thankful we can have that space for her and that she is with us.

However, with that thankfulness is an awareness that Mom is becoming more frail. Her body doesn't always cooperate with her. Yesterday, I was so very aware of the toll aging has taken on her.

We went to the birthday party, which takes a about an hour and 15 minutes to get there. There is the mandatory pit stop we must make. We strategically have to find a parking place which makes it easy for her to get into the building. Of course the handicapped parking area is as far away from the door as you can park.

Mom can no longer go into a place by herself. The doors are too heavy, and the maneuvering of a door and a walker make it difficult to manage. And with the walking, making it to the bathroom "in time" usually doesn't happen any more.  And, yesterday, Mom did not bring any supplies to take care of her problem. Mom doesn't always remember those things anymore of being prepared. We made do for the evening.

At the party, Mom sat in the house for a while, but then was ready to go out where the action was happening. Not an easy task any more, I scope out what obstacles will prevent her doing what she would like to do and how to make it work for her. Taking the small step out the back door is challenging, as she is reminded to lock the walker so she has stability to make the step.

We got her a chair to sit outside and arranged it so she could sit, but not have to walk as far. When I say that, the slight uneven surfaces can be a challenge for her now, and a mere couple of feet of uneven surface she needs assistance. Thank you to the nurse who saw the need for some extra special attention to Mom and helped.

We were one of the first to leave, as we had to travel a good ways compared to the other folks. When we arrived home, she was worn out from the short trip, and as she entered her apartment,  I saw a worn out Mom.

This morning Mom did not go to church - she had a headache she said - my guess she was worn out from the night before.

Over the past few years, Mom's independence is fading. She is no longer driving (not her decision), she wants me to make decisions for her. Bill paying, medications, meals, and scheduling doctor's appointments are all a part of the responsibilities that she no longer has to worry about.

I won't say it's easy to care for an aging parent. There's the angst of wondering if I am doing all that needs to be done. There's the part of Mom that knows she is becoming increasingly more frail and less independent. There is the feeling of being on the hamster wheel of knowing that the responsibility continues 7 days a week, 24 hours a day. There is the selecting of food that we know she will be able to eat. There's the occasional fall (thank goodness for those "Help I've fallen and I can't get up" buttons) that happens in the middle of the night. There's the changing of linens at the least expected times. There are times of disorientation, yet there are times when she is crystal clear in thought, but those times are fewer.

I want to cherish these times when I see a part of Mom that I remember - the times that I see her are beginning to fade, but occasionally they shine through and I get that glimpse of Mom as I remember her.

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I offer this prayer to those of you who might be experiencing  caregiving for aging parents. I found it on this web site:

Blessed Breath of God, of Life, breathe through me now. In this moment, I feel the sweet and merciful fullness of God in me. I have the wisdom, grace and love of God filling my soul. Precious God, as I watch my aging  mother change and move through the cycles of life, I am filled with emotion. Help me to be a patient and loving adult child in this experience. Show me how to honor my feelings and how to be aware of all the lessons and gifts you have for me in this experience. I appreciate my  mother, and all that she, has brought to my life. I feel the early taste of grief as I realize  her mortality….and my own. Fill me with respect, a big heart and a giving spirit, Lord. Help me to know the right things to do in each situation; may I always be a Light to them as their journey continues. Prepare me Lord, for what lies ahead. Only you know the richness of our journey, God. In our Oneness, I know you light the way for them and for me. May sweet and merciful angels be with our family throughout all our days. I give thanks for the many gifts I have already received in this family and the gifts in the days to come. All is well and God is good. Amen.

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Ponderings on an aging parent

Frustration hit this evening. This is the first time in about a month that my mother has asked to drive her car. Mom is eighty, uses a walker, and has had issues with driving in the past which included driving in the middle of the night - and we are not sure she was dreaming during her driving or if the dream was so real that she continued on after she awoke to complete the dream.

We have her keys, so she asked if she could drive to go out to eat with a friend. I'm ambivalent. I don't want to deny her social activities which she has enjoyed, but I am also worried about her safety. There is no public transportation in this small community.

As the night transpired, she told me her friend was picking her up tomorrow. That's a good thing. There are more hoops to jump through, but I think I will close on this one tonight.