Friday, April 8, 2011
Reflections and Anticipation at the Beach
The days down at the coast have provided me with what I would call respite from the world of work and the obligations of each day - some of the angst I have felt over the past months have been because of life changes, some from grieving, some from the self imposed worry I allow to take over my brain at times. I can consider some justified as a part of "growing up" and dealing with adult worries, while other parts were useless worries.
But I believe that life threatening crises and placing a parent in a nursing facility will set most people on edge, but the intensity of the feelings in my heart were what they were, and are what they are. I am coming to peace with some of it, feeling growth in other parts where I can see the blessing of it, but other parts of the grieving will remain with me for some time. The prayers of those of you who have had me in my prayers were and are being felt, and for that I am grateful. The fact that I have a faith which provides comfort to me in tough times were there even if I wasn't feeling it at the time, because there were those of you who carried me through the hardest of times.
This week, I have had an opportunity to refresh parts of me as I have taken a break from the every day world. I consider it a luxury to be able to do this as I know there are many who need this sort of getaway to purge the stresses of life, whatever they may be.
The week has had variety as the ebb and flow of family and friends have joined us - from a dear husband and daughter who joined me at the beginning of the week (along with the canine family), where cooking, swimming, sunbathing (daughter!), and sitting by the gulf waves provided food for the heart, soul, and stomach.
The intense storm which came through the earlier part of the week provided beautiful days of sunshine with a chill in the air, wind to stir and keep us moving, and beautiful water - as beautiful as I have seen it here. Warm enough for swimming in a heated pool and cool enough to keep us in the water, avoiding the chill of getting out of the water. It's the price one pays during the springtime where it is warm enough to THINK we can get in the water and DO!
Uninterrupted reading and the completing of three books brought satisfaction in the fact that I have felt a void in reading and seemed to have a period of weeks where reading felt impossible to indulge in. Two books felt substantial, where the third I consider "fluffy" and just what the doctor ordered. A fourth book will be on the horizon, but no anticipation of finishing it before we leave, and that is just fine.
In the past 24 hours, the television has been turned off, with quiet in the house. It's provided me with the "sound of silence" - which allows my mind to quiet and feel some calm. We live in such a noisy world, one that being busy seems to be more important than being still and listening to the sounds we do not hear unless there is silence, such as one of a wild snail eating :).
More family arrives today to bring the weekend to life. My own flesh and blood, along with a third generation in the oven, will join me in to enjoy time by the sea. Memories will be created as our weekend together will be different than in times past. In some ways, a new beginning, but not forgetting what memories we have had in the past.
So our girl weekend begins with an anticipation of joy and fun and love.