It's the mood I'm in

In anticipation of Holy Week, I went to a web site which has hymns posted just prior to its season or observance. Ah, Holy Jesus was one of the hymns posted. It echoed my mood I was experiencing this evening.  The mood is what it is. The music, beautiful.







Ah, holy Jesus, how hast thou offended,
that man to judge thee hath in hate pretended?
By foes derided, by thine own rejected,
O most afflicted.

Who was the guilty? Who brought this upon thee?
Alas, my treason, Jesus, hath undone thee.
'Twas I, Lord Jesus, I it was denied thee:
I crucified thee.

Lo, the Good Shepherd for the sheep is offered;
the slave hath sinned, and the Son hath suffered;
for our atonement, while we nothing heedeth,
God intercedeth.

For me, kind Jesus, was thy incarnation,
thy mortal sorrow, and thy life's oblation;
thy death of anguish and thy bitter passion,
for my salvation.

Therefore, kind Jesus, since I cannot pay thee,
I do adore thee, and will ever pray thee,
think on thy pity and thy love unswerving,
not my deserving.

Text: Johann Heermann (1585-1647); trans. Robert Seymour Bridges (1844-1930)
Tune: HERZLIEBSTER JESU 11.11.11.5 (later form of melody by Johann Crüger, 1598-1662, arranged by Johann Sebastian Bach, 1685-1750)

Reflecting Back on Lent

I decided to take a look at my thoughts on Lent as it first started. I had posted a note on Facebook which included the following practices I would attempt to follow during this season of Lent. They included:

• I am taking an online class called "Holy Companions: Spiritual Practices from the Celtic Saints.   I did take the class, but (oh that word, BUT) I got distracted by two major incidents that occurred. One was a freak accident of a friend's child, who is all ok, thank God, and another I cannot write about on the blog, but is much more directly involving me. Pray.

• visiting my spiritual director at least twice - I have seen her once, but(there's that but word again), she got sick, so we missed an appointment, but we did make it up. I would go see her this week, but I do have mercy on clergy during Holy Week.
• minimize my use of Facebook - I haven't been as successful with this, but (ahem) I have tried...
• increase my prayer time - I do believe that I have prayed more - for others because of their situations at hand, but also more intentional in general. And for that I am grateful.
• ????????????? - I have no idea why I had the question marks at the end. Maybe that was left to be open to the Holy Spirit guiding me through Lent??

As Lent closes the door, I HAVE noticed something significant. There wasn't the dark looming cloud of feeling despair as much as I have in the past. That being said, I am saying this with hindsight and it's still light in the evening. February is not a good month for me in general, with the malaise of winter that seems to fall on me. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel of Lent.

The story ain't over yet.... We got some serious stuff this week - all packed into short amount of time. It's exhausting, the emotions go from one extreme to the other. We know how it ends - and it's just the beginning.