Light of my life pictured here

It's been almost a month since Mom's passing. Funny how life goes on - no real pauses outwardly, but I feel the pause inside of me - as in a regrouping, trying to figure out where all is arranged now.  I have taken my knitting as a way of finding time to think with the rhythm of the needles as the single strand of yarn becomes connected into a solid piece of work.

Lots of touching lately - by fellow workers, friends, and acquaintances, letting me know their thoughts are with me. Sometimes nothing is said, and that is ok.

Here is a highlight of this month - brightens my heart. He's three months old now. 

 

I have no idea why this scarf picture is sideways - it is not in my photo editing program.  Anyway, it's a cashmere scarf made from Yarn Harlot's Reversible Scarf Pattern.  Pretend you are looking at it in the right direction.

Working on a sweater and it is getting to the point where if I take a picture of it you might recognize it as such. Stay tuned.

Mid January

The blogger window has been open for several days waiting for some words to pop up on the screen. Funny, it has remained blank. Seems I can post a FB update status, but to actually put something together that appears to be a post..... well, it appears to elude me.

Out of sorts best describes the feeling I have right now. I can't really put my finger on any one thing, but can also put it on LOTS of things at the same time. Loss, winter, grief, yearning, lack of focus, all contribute, I believe. At least I can blame it on something. Whether it is that or not, I don't know.

In the meantime, I have been knitting. I am taking a class to knit a top down sweater - for the confident beginner. I believe my skills are a little beyond confident beginner, but how I benefit from this is to learn some little tricks on the way which only another knitter can show you - sometimes when you don't even think you need it. I also benefit from it by the fact that you have a deadline to get to a certain point, so it pushes me forward. I might get this sweater completed before it starts getting warmer here in South Georgia. If I took a picture of the work in progress, it would look all bunched up since it is on a circular needle, so I will spare you a picture. However, I have a little scarf in progress which I will share with you a photo (somehow it ended up above the paragraph, and I'm not fooling with it. I know better.).

I would be remiss if I did not mention how thankful I am for those who continue to show support, knowing that the grief from the loss of a loved one does not go away after a week or two. I found myself driving into the nursing home the other day and then remembered that Mom was gone.

Life continues on.
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Mourning

Today was a day where the loss of Mom has really set. I am grateful for the weeks I have had off for Christmas, but am still feeling quite exhausted, wanting to sleep. Tomorrow work begins again, and am hoping getting into the routine of a schedule will help.

The sympathy cards have been of help, and has allowed the tears to flow (wet prayers).

I am thankful for the spontaneous gathering of friends for supper, even though I didn't feel like good company. They were good company for me.

Even though I knew it was time for Mom to go, I still really really miss her. A lot.

6 months - no post?? Well, here you have it.

It's been about 6 months since I have posted and many life changes have occurred during this time. There is a grandson in our lives and we love him so! Almost 3 months old now, we are thoroughly enjoying him. Interestingly, on the same day he was born, my husband had a heart attack about the same time as his birth. Scary ordeal and very mixed emotions that day. All is well now, but we did have a scare.

Mom's failing health and general decline over the last year was difficult. Weight loss, increased dementia, and a stroke in December found Mom entering into God's heavenly kingdom December 28. Needless to say, we have had quite the year.

It has been very touching and moving to have the love and support of so many especially over the last months of Mom's life. Seeing a loved one, especially a parent, pass away, is one of those things you learn as you go. I am thankful for those who have led me along the way, especially when I didn't really know where we were going along life's path. Well, I DID know where we were going, but didn't always know the steps to take.

So, it has been a week since Mom passed away. Last night I dozed off in the chair and woke up suddenly thinking "Oh, I need to go see Mom" and realized she is no longer here. It feels surreal, as there is a void.

So the new year begins - and I don't know where it will lead me, but I am here.

Independence Day

It will be a quiet Independence at our house. No big celebration as today is a day where my husband works so others can play golf on their day off. Nature of the job.

I love the country in which I live, but I am ever mindful we are just a piece of the world, where others also love their homeland.

I find this fitting today for Independence Day - it speaks greater of who we are as a people on this earth.

 

This Is My Song

This is my song, O God of all the nations,
a song of peace for lands afar and mine.
This is my home, the country where my heart is;
here are my hopes, my dreams, my holy shrine;
but other hearts in other lands are beating
with hopes and dreams as true and high as mine.

My country's skies are bluer than the ocean,
and sunlight beams on cloverleaf and pine.
But other lands have sunlight too, and clover,
and skies are ev'rywhere as blue as mine.
So hear my song, O God of all the nations,
a song of peace for their land and for mine.

This is my prayer, O God of all earth's kingdoms,
your kingdom come; on earth your will be done.
O God, be lifted up till all shall serve you,
and hearts united learn to live as one.
So hear my prayer, O God of all the nations;
myself I give you; let your will be done.



Text: Lloyd Stone, 1912-1993, sts. 1-2; Georgia Harkness, 1891-1974, st. 3
Text sts. 1-2 © 1934, 1962 Lorenz Publishing Company. Text st. 3 © 1964 Lorenz Publishing Company. All rights reserved.

As I walk

Since school has been out, I have been focusing in on trying to walk daily. It's done at the YMCA on the treadmill where the gnats are not members, and the room is cool and comfortable. I have been listening to my playlists on my Ipod and find it an eclectic mix of music. It keeps me distracted and I love listening to the variety I have on there. So I post for you one of my pieces I listen to while I walk. It seems to work perfectly for me.

Sweet Potato and Quinoa Salad

For some reason, I was unable to post this on Facebook's Note section, so I figured there was more than one way to skin a cat - so here it is!

Sweet Potato and Quinoa Salad

2 1/2 cups cooked quinoa or other small kernel grain (1 c. raw quinoa, 2 c. water, bring to boil with a little salt, cover and simmer 12 min.  Fluff grain with a fork, cover and let sit another 10-15 min.)

1 large or 2 med. (about 1 lb. sweet potatoes)

salt

1 red bell pepper, cored, seeded and diced

1/4 c. minced red onion or shallot

freshly ground black pepper

1/4 c. extra virgin olive oil

2 Tbsp. balsamic vinegar

1/4 c. minced fresh chives or parsley (I used parsley)

 

If you haven't already, cook the quinoa.  Be sure to rinse grains well to clean off the bitter coating on it before cooking and drain thoroughly.  Peel sweet potato, dice it into 1/2" or smaller pieces.  Cook it in salted, boiling water to cover until tender.  Drain well. Toss together the potato, quinoa, bell pepper, parsley and onion.  Sprinkle with salt and pepper.  Whisk the oil and vinegar together and toss the salad with about 1/2 of mixture.  Add all or some of the rest to taste.  Adjust seasoning.   Enjoy!

 

I had to add more dressing to the salad today.  At least half again as much. 

 

It is from Mark Bittman's, How to Cook Everything Vegetarian, cookbook.

How I changed the recipe - I added a can of black beans, washed and drained the beans.  I also added diced yellow bell pepper.